The Opposition

So, why is it so darn hard to be creative?

I suspect that each of you struggling creative types has asked that question countless times.  God knows I have.  If you share my experience, I believe that you have attempted this journey several times before.  Conceptually, it's easy.  Figure out what you're made to do, and then do it.  (This is a process that deserves greater discussion, so anticipate a full post on the topic within a few days.)  At its heart, it doesn't get much simpler than this.  Figure it out, and then do it.  If you're a writer, write; if you're a painter, paint; if you're a musician, then pick up your instrument and play.  (Fill in your personal passion and activity here.)  Simple, and yet...

Have you noticed how often life seems to happen, getting in the way of what you yearn to do?  Isn't it interesting?  We have plenty of time to sit on the couch and sacrifice brain cells to reality TV, but it becomes nearly impossible to claim fifteen minutes to jot a thought down on paper.  You start a sketch, and coffee gets spilled on it.  You spend an hour trying a new photographic technique, only to misplace the memory card from the camera.  The car breaks down, the kids get sick, workplace drama carries over into your personal life...  and your creativity suffers.  True, life goes on all the time, but it seems to be a near universal truth that it happens with unusual and frustrating intensity any time you start to actively explore your creative self.  It's almost as though there were a sentient and malevolent force trying to prevent you from becoming engaged with your creativity.  Silly, I know, but I also know that most if not all of you have experienced this at one time or another.

Well, here's a radical thought.  What if that's exactly what it is? 

Before going any further, I want to clarify something about myself and my view of the world we inhabit.  Though Christian, I am NOT one of those Christians who sees Satan lurking behind every unpleasant or unfortunate thing that happens.  For the most part, I think a cold is just a cold, that the guy that cuts you off in traffic is just someone that wasn't paying attention, that the fan belt in your car breaks simply because it was old and worn out.  I don't believe that these events are evil and malevolent, and I certainly don't think the world is out to get us.  Please don't take this as a personal affront, but to be honest, I don't think the world is sufficiently aware of any one of us to care whether we have a good day or not.  The world is indifferent. 

But...  That doesn't mean that there isn't something out there that stands in opposition to our creative self-discovery.  You don't have to be Christian or even spiritual to experience this, or to accept this.  The laws of the physical world support this as well.  Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  You cannot have light without also having darkness.  The universe is a maelstrom of creation and destruction.  Call it Yin and Yang, Push and Pull, Good and Evil, Light and Darkness.  To my eyes, the universe attempts to bring everything into a state of entropy, nullifying movement, cooling heat, canceling creation.  In effect, the universe tends to resist the active, seeking to bring everything into a state of just existing.   

So how does this relate to our personal struggle to be creative?  In it's simplest terms, creativity is the opposite of entropy.  It is the ultimate expression of movement, of action.  It is an active refusal to just exist, a claiming of our heritage as created beings, an acceptance of the audacious idea that we may share in the creative energy that brought the universe into existence in the first place.  In daring to be creative, we actively rebel against the stillness that the universe attempts to force upon creation.  The law of inertia, however, states that a body at rest tends to stay at rest.  When you start to explore your creativity, you are attempting to go from a static to an active state.  Because of the way it is designed, the universe will resist this change.  Fortunately, the law of inertia also states that a body in motion tends to stay in motion.  Thanks to a wonderful thing called momentum, the longer and harder we push, the more likely we are to keep moving. 

Now, let's take this a step further.  If we accept that we are created, then we must also accept that there is a creator:  an active, creative force that brought us into existence.  Based on the observable laws of the universe we inhabit, it follows, therefore, that there must also be a force that opposes the act of creation.  Whether we like this concept or not is irrelevant.  As a Christian, I believe that my Creator is Good and Holy; therefore I must also believe that the opposing force is Evil and Profane.  Your spiritual journey may have you in a different place, and you may be far more comfortable labeling these forces with names like Light and Darkness, Creation and Destruction, Positive Energy and Negative Energy.  I honestly don't believe that the names we apply have any real significance.  What does matter is that we acknowledge that they exist, and that they have a very real and measurable impact on our lives and actions.

So long as we are content to just exist, to drift along with the current, we are not unleashing anything that requires opposition.  We are, for all intents and purposes, inert, existing in the universe's preferred state of entropy.  If, however, we start to try and connect with that part of our Creator that resides within us, we begin to move and become active.  We come into contact with that vibrant energy that speaks stars into existence, letting it flow through us and energize us.  And the universe, the negative force, the Evil, resists us!  Why?  Because the laws that govern our existence requires it to do so.   By becoming active, we encounter the force which exists to quell activity.  Left unchecked, this negative force will effectively neutralize our efforts to become creative, bringing us back to a standstill.

If this is so, does it mean that our creative endeavors are doomed before we ever begin?  In a word, no.   Not if we acknowledge the inevitable resistance.  By exercising our free will, we can actively and deliberately continue to push forward on our journey of self-discovery.  In fact, we can choose to be encouraged by the resistance.  The simple truth is that the presence of resistance is a positive indicator that we are on the right track.  It is the very act of releasing our creativity that triggers resistance!  So if the brown and gloppy stuff seems to hit the fan every time you start to make progress, be of good cheer.  You are on the verge of discovering magic.

There is good news.  The same law of inertia that makes it so hard to get moving also makes it more likely that we will keep moving if we persist.  Yes, the universe loves balance and entropy, but that doesn't mean that we must remain inert.  Try thinking of it as cyclical energy, rather than as irresistible force meeting immovable object. 

We tend to think of light and darkness as static and opposite, like a rectangle divided down the center, half black and half white.  Each side presses against the other, neither moving forward, neither overtaking the other.  Instead, consider the Asian symbol of yin & yang, a circular symbol.  Like our rectangle, it is equally divided, but not by a straight line.  Instead, the division is curved and dynamic, with each side pressing into the other.  Encompassed within the heart of the darkness is an area of light, and within the heart of light is an area of darkness.   As you look at the symbol, it is easy to see how the opposing forces actually create energy, rather than neutralizing it.  As we have seen, the active creative energy creates resistance from the negative, but rather than acting against each other, the forces each serve to move the other forward with ever increasing speed and power.  The energy becomes self-sustaining.

 

Our creative lives can utilize this same energy.  When we encounter resistance, we have a choice.  We can treat it as a wall, and let it stop us cold.  Alternately, we can choose to focus our creative energy in a way that redirects the resistance we encounter, letting it impell us forward.   As we do this, we gain momentum, pressed forward by the very forces that could have held us back.  If we continue, we hit a tipping point where we become bodies in motion, and that law of inertia tends to keep us in motion.

For those of you who share my faith, there is additional power in this.   We have the right to call on God, to ask His help in unlocking the potential he has placed inside us.  This is our birthright.  God wants us to connect with him, to discover what he made us for, to become effective and dynamic.  If he did not, he would not have offered us salvation or grace.  Now I am just twisted enough to delight in what this implies:  If we move forward in this dynamic way, the resistance that our enemy places as an obstacle becomes the energy that drives us forward.  Isn't that cool?  Perhaps it reveals a fundamental lack of spiritual maturity on my part, but I love the thought that the machinations of the Devil can be used to move me for the Good.

In closing, let me encourage you.  If you are meeting resistance, good!  You are on the right track, beyond any doubt.  Don't ignore the negative or pretend it isn't there.  Press up against it, focus your energy.  Push your creativity with everything you have.  Be willing to fail spectacularly, for the sake of moving forward.  I promise, that which resists you will remain, but it will start to move with you.  If you are overcome by darkness, realize that it is cyclical and it will pass.

My prayers are with you.

The Value of Seeing the Good.

Hello, my fellow travelers.  You have no idea how delighted and amazed I am to discover that you are still here with me.  I'd like to warn you:  This is likely to be a "Rabbit Trail" day.  My thoughts are all over the place today, and my writing is likely to reflect that.  I genuinely hope that I can lead you through this briar patch without getting anyone entangled.  Welcome to the wonderful mess that is my creative process.

Today, I want to explore one of the fundamental aspects of who I am.  (Remember, I warned you that I would tend to share about myself in here.)  I'm not doing this to say "Hey, look at me!  Aren't I marvelous?"  It's simpler than that, really.  This is me calling out to all of you on this trail, saying, "Hey, come here!  This is so cool!"

I choose to be a positive person.  I live my life by trying to see Beauty.  (Yes, it's capitalized intentionally.)  I believe, with everything I am, that we are surrounded by the good, the beautiful, the amazing.  I also believe that we tend to find what we are looking for.  Have you ever observed a pessimist in action?  They expect the worst to happen, and they tend to have their view of the world validated at every turn.  They seek the negative, and they find it.  Ick!  (My apologies to you pessimists out there, but that's just depressing.)  On the other hand, I want to encourage you to observe, as objectively as possible, a positive person.  (This may take some effort on your part, as they are increasingly rare.)  Watch how they react to the world around them, and more importantly, the details of the world that they choose to focus on.  I can tell you with confidence that they experience a very different world, because they choose to expect the good, to look for the beautiful.

Now here's the interesting part:  These people inhabit the same world.  The world just is.  It, in of itself, is neither ugly nor beautiful, good nor evil, indifferent nor passionate.  It just is, with all its wonderful complexity.  It is the physical environment that we, as both physical and spiritual beings, currently experience as our reality.  The world is neither out to get us, or here to bless us.  It is indifferent.  So, if this is the case, why do people experience it so differently?  I believe it is because they choose to.

This is where free will comes into play.  Although I believe we are all, to one degree or another, hard-wired with certain gifts, abilities and perceptions, I also believe that we have to power to decide how we will utilize these things.  Since this is an exploration of creativity and spiritual growth, I would go so far as to say that it is our responsibility to actively make a choice.  In my life, I have found that the most effective way to start making these choices is by changing what I focus on in the world around me.  If I look for what is beautiful, I am surprised by unexpected beauty.  If I seek what is good, I discover nuggets of kindness in outwardly nasty people.  I could go on, but I think you see what I mean, even if you don't believe it.

Seeking the good is like attaching a filter to the lense through which we see the world.  As a photographer, I often use a polarizing filter.  Why?  Because I love the way it filters the light.  A polarizer alters the way that light enters my camera, reducing glare and haze so that details leap out and colors are intensified.  The sky becomes a deeper blue, still water gains depth, reflective surfaces that were obscured by glare are revealed when the light is filtered.  To my eye, the world is enhanced.  Seeking the positive filters my world in a similar way.  Yes, in reality the haze and glare are still there, but my chosen filter allows me to see past them to what lies beneath.

Please note that I am not saying that it is healthy to view the world with naive, rose-colored glassed.  There is darkness in the world around us, and it can be dangerous to ignore it.  There is, however, a profound difference between acknowledging the darkness and focusing on it.  I seem to be thinking in terms of photographic analogies here, so I'm going to stick with what is working for me today.   As a way of illustrating what I am trying to convey, I want to introduce you to two styles of portraying light in a photograph:  high-key images and low-key images.

For the purposes of our discussion, consider a high-key image as a representation of the world through those proverbial rose-colored glasses.  A high-key image is essentially light in tone:  the subject is light, the background is light, shadows are subdued and minimal, and the image often conveys a feeling of softness, even peace.  It is an image that is carefully constructed to give minimal consideration to darkness.  The problem with a high-key image is not in what is perceived, but in what is lost.  Colors are washed out, details tend to be softened, and depth is lost.  There is, for lack of a better word, a feeling of shallowness.  In a photograph, this can be a form of artistic expression.  In perceiving the world, however, I believe that shallowness equates to a loss of credibility.  By focusing only on the light, the deeper beauty is lost.

A low-key image at first may appear to be the opposite of the high-key image, with an overall tone that is dark.  The reality, however, is quite the opposite.  While the overall image may be dark and lost in shadow, the subject is illuminated, typically with a small and concentrated light.  Texture and color tend to leap from the image in those selectively illuminated areas, and the image conveys a sense of strength and mystery.  The darkness is acknowledged, even embraced, appearing to the untrained eye to dominate the image, but this is where the magic comes alive.  It is the acknowledged presence of the darkness that draws your eye to the light!  The shadows give life to the illuminated, giving it depth and dimension and mystery and magic.  To my eye and spirit, the light among the shadows has far greater power than the light by itself.  I believe (perhaps erroneously) that this is how I choose to see the world around me, by acknowledging both light and darkness, and finding my beauty in the interaction of the two.

Now, on to reality.  Most, if not all of us, are living in a troubled world right now.  I am far from immune.   As you sit and read this, you may be thinking that this sounds nice, but you cannot see how to apply a positive view to the overwhelmingly negative circumstances of your life.  Believe me, I get it.  Lest you consider me a hypocrite, let me share the general circumstances of my life today.

I know, on a very personal and all too real level, these demons and more: financial insecurity, nonexistent resources, unemployment, damaged credit ratings, the inability to cover even the most basic needs.  I know what it is to wake up in the haunted hours of the night, unable to return to sleep because I am consumed with worry and fear.  I know what it is to feel the breath crushed from your chest by that fear, to despair of ever being in a good place again.  And yes, I know how that can kill every creative thought you might have…

But...  (I know, I should NEVER start a sentence with a conjunction!)  The evening light on the Sandia mountains was breathtaking last night, and I chose to notice it.  The sky is clear and blue this morning, though there is a haze in the air that reminds me more of Oklahoma than New Mexico.  I have radical thoughts, questions of "what if..."  Due to our circumstances, it would be easy to focus that "what if" on the negative questions, on the fear.  Instead, however, I'm choosing the more difficult path, the rabbit trail.  What if standing on the edge of loosing everything means I have nothing to lose by trying something different?  What if NOW is the time?  What if I were to go with what my inner nature calls me to be, what it aches for?  What if my thoughts, my admittedly different way of seeing the world, actually mattered?  What if my struggles had the power to set someone else free?  What if, instead of running from my fears, I were to capture them, harness them, give them direction as a sense of urgency and let them drive me forward to places I've never had the courage to go to?  What if I focus on the tiny embers glowing in the darkness and breathe on them till they burst into flame?  Damn, that would be cool.

So now you see why I'm writing these words.  They are an exploration of the positive side of "what if."  They are my way of fighting back, of drawing my sword and striking at that which would crush my spirit.  More than that, they are my way of enouraging you to do the same.  They are my declaration:  I will seek the beautiful, and I will find it!  No matter what, I will find it.  I refuse to surrender that, and I hope you do as well.  The good, the right, the beautiful...  these are our birthright, our inheritance as the Creator's handcrafted works of art.  I choose to exercise my free will and claim them.

I know many of you who read these pages are not Christian, but hopefully you are open to truth, even if it is contained in Christian scripture.  In his letter to the Romans, Paul wrote these words of encouragement:  "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."  (Romans 8:28, New Living Translation)  Please note that Paul does suggest that everything will be good, but rather everything will work together "for the good".  The negative and ugly will happen, but if you are seeking God and his purpose for you, there is always a silver lining.  Always.  "Everything" is an all-inclusive word.  And here's the cool part, whether you are Christian or not.  If you are on this path, if you are trying to discover what you are made for, if you are open to the idea that you were created with artistic intent, then you are "called according to his purpose!"  Though I have no doubt that there are theologians that would passionately disagree with me on this point, I believe it with everything I am.

Here's what I am trying to convey:  There is power in you, in your life, in even the darkest circumstances.  This power is undeniable and irrefutable.  It is there, whether you acknowledge it or not.  If you ignore it or try to deny it, or focus on the negative aspects of it, that power is likely to consume you from the inside out, eating away at the core of you until you are hollowed out, an empty husk of "might-have-been."  It will crush you with it's indifference.

But...  if you make the conscious decision to claim it, to focus on the goodness of it, to accept that it is wired into you, it can transform you.  It can make you feel alive, because in claiming in you accept your right to be alive.  This is not new-age, hocus-pocus feel-good stuff.  It is the truth that we are afraid to see, because it carries with it an obligation, a responsibility, to LIVE.  To discover and become what we were created to be.

So, how does this tie in to the overall theme of this blog, to the positive exploration of creativity?  To my way of thinking, it's the key that unlocks everything else.  It is the choice, the declaration that by seeking the Good and the Beautiful, we will become contagious, that we will empower our own creativity and that of those around us.  Isn't that what this quest is about?

And with that in mind, I leave you for today, stepping out to try and find beauty in my very scary circumstances.  Your prayers and good wishes are appreciated, and your comments and thoughts are welcomed.